MATT HAZARD JOINS THE THOUSANDS! CREATES BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING LIST

 

Black Friday is here and with the announcement of Eat Lead going next-gen, Matt Hazard needs to upgrade his playing experience (as the last time Matt starred in a game was Choking Hazard in 2002) with a whole new home theatre for himself and some additional goodies to give for Secret Santa.

EAT LEAD TAKE OVER!

EAT LEAD TAKE OVER!

 

Check out Matt’s Black Friday schedule that I’ve received from him today.

 

Friday, Nov 28th

 

Midnight – Wake-up and wait in line at Montgomery Wards “Electric City”

 

-720p flat screen LCD.

(I’ve never seen myself so clearly. My muscles look great! This is perfect for playing Eat Lead)

 

-First season of Arrested Development DVD

(Check out who this Will Arnett dude is)

 

-Dolby Surround sound speakers

 

8 AM – Head to the Mall

 

Crown Books

 

-Russian/English Dictionary (finally figure out what General Neutronov is saying)

 

FuncoLand

 

-Pre-order Eat Lead

(or get it online at http://www.gamestop.com/Catalog/ProductDetails.aspx?product_id=73011)

 

Structure

 

-Hat/Sunglasses  

(can’t walk around on the street anymore without being recognized)

 

10 AM – Drive over to Gart Sports

 

-Old Spice

(That Neil Patrick Harris commercial gets me every time)

 

-Shoulder pads

 

-Scissors

(to cut shoulder pads, because one gives you the protection and mobility that you need and ninja rolls are so much easier with a little padding)

 

-Ammo

(Because it’s never unlimited, unless you are a cowardly cheater)

 

Noon – Pantry Pride

-Block of beef

(all the action from the butcher shop makes me want to BBQ)

 

3PM – Watch Football and play Gutpunch with Master Chef and Captain Carpenter

 

Too bad, I don’t have the heart to tell Matt that none of those stores exist anymore. But, everyone knows not to mess with Matt. I guess that is my fault as I blew away all that cash for chauffeurs and personal assistants for Matt all those years. But boy did we have fun!

 

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