Super Adventures of Matt in Hazard Land Extreme Alpha Advance

March 3, 2009

I received word this week that a secret Matt Hazard game was pirated back in the 90’s and placed in a time capsule by 3 young lads of the Unofficial Matt Hazard Fan Club and was uncovered via a time capsule they placed deep underground.  Location not known…

Here is what was revealed –

Inside The Matt Hazard Time Capsule

Inside The Matt Hazard Time Capsule

It is great to see Lord OctoSurgeon make some news again as it has been some time since I have heard his name and I don’t believe he is in the upcoming Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard which I hear shipped this week.  I can only wish that Lord OctoSurgeon is getting the help that he truly needs.  Addiction to mana potion can be a painful thing to see. 

So best of luck to Lord OctoSurgeon and in addition to Matt Hazard in his new game.  All this news brings back so many memories.  Time for me to finish up Super Adventures of Matt in Hazard Land Extreme Alpha Advance so I can go to GameStop before they close to pick-up Eat Lead.



The Super Bowl Sunday That Never Was

January 30, 2009

Attention Hazard fans, Superbowl Sunday is upon us this weekend and before we begin chowing down on Polish Sausages, sauerkraut and foamy drinks and inducing those junk food induced heart palpitation, it’s time to reflect on a simpler yet more Hazard-ous time.



The year was 1994 and a so-called other ex-football coach was making tremendous momentum with a official playbook style football sim and us folks on the business side wanted a piece of the pie.  Of course we needed to be unique from the others and not a simple copycat.  There were already football games out there that focused on aliens, roided-out players, 10 yard scores and bootlegs to a famous San Francisco fullback.  


Like where many great videogame ideas begin, we got together around the board table and started fleshing out ideas.  With us being very shooter-savvy at Marathon Software we came up with the idea of including a sports/shooter game where a certain player during the huddle will be handed a handgun and his duty would be to defeat the opposing team of Prison Robots on the football field.  Object of the game was to score the most points while keeping your 11 players on the field from your original 53 to win the game.

That idea came from one of our marketing fellows who for some reason was going through a huge white tank top and leather coat phase in his life and thought of this idea after sitting through some movie about a last cadet, no boy scout or something.  However, the idea did not pass focus testing as a mature football videogame would not slide with mainstream populations.


One idea that did latch on was that we did look into creating a perennial Mike Ditka Football videogame series that could light up the charts  However, Marathon Software had invested their cash flow poorly and was beginning to feel the pinch from their fleet of corporate jets.  They began to look for ways to branch out all of their licensed properties, when a love affair involving some stalwart Chicago Bears fans and there head coach had inspired some of the designers to pimp out this Hall of Fame coach with a special Matt Hazard.

What started as an idea of Mike Ditka vs. the 1994 New York Giants morphed into Mike Ditka vs. the World in which he faced off against other fit badasses such as Ditka vs. Norris, Ditka vs. Seagal, Ditka vs. Lundgren, and Ditka vs. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir.  The whole idea would culminate around the ultimate boss battle/opponent level “Mike Ditka vs. Matt Hazard: It’s Supper Time Bitches”.  By synergizing two strong brands and making a bid to purchase one of the most expensive Super Bowl commercials involving lots of free beer, hot chicks, towers of pizza, Oompa Loompa actors, and a baby’s smile…Mike Ditka vs. The World could have been the beginning of a long lasting franchise.  Unfortunately, Marathon Software was still throwing dollar after dollar to the follow-up to their award winning 2D shooter and that idea crashed faster than a bug into a windshield.


Luckily from this, we learned at Marathon that partnering our popular character Matt Hazard with another star can prove to be rewarding and luckily it made millions with the Matt and Dexter series.


Good luck to all in the Super Bowl and just be thankful you aren’t playing Ditka cause it would be Ditka 192 – 2. Believe that!

Eat Lead’s Neil Patrick Harris to Present Award at SpikeTV Videogame Awards This Sunday

December 11, 2008

Great news! The Adwizards at D3Publisher has brought Neil Patrick Harris to the SpikeTV Videogame Awards. The show will be filmed live this Sunday on SpikeTV and Neil will be presenting an award to one lucky game.


NPH is probably one of my favorite stars on TV. Back in the 80’s, celebrity VO was not as prominent as it is today. The technology just would not allow it, we repeatedly in development tried to make something work but usually ended up just doing muttered sound mixed with subtitles. If Doogie Howser and Matt Hazard teamed together for a CSI-esque game, it would have been fabulous. I would say Doogie’s typing in his nightly journal would probably be one of the most realistic TV to game crossovers to date. The duo of Matt and Neil could have prevented the headaches induced from the Matt and Dexter games that preceded the fall of Marathon Software.




But I digress, I will be sure to have my TV set for Sunday and watch my fellow game industry friends accept awards for the best games of the year and I can’t wait to see NPH on stage.


It’s going to be….


November 26, 2008


Black Friday is here and with the announcement of Eat Lead going next-gen, Matt Hazard needs to upgrade his playing experience (as the last time Matt starred in a game was Choking Hazard in 2002) with a whole new home theatre for himself and some additional goodies to give for Secret Santa.




Check out Matt’s Black Friday schedule that I’ve received from him today.


Friday, Nov 28th


Midnight – Wake-up and wait in line at Montgomery Wards “Electric City”


-720p flat screen LCD.

(I’ve never seen myself so clearly. My muscles look great! This is perfect for playing Eat Lead)


-First season of Arrested Development DVD

(Check out who this Will Arnett dude is)


-Dolby Surround sound speakers


8 AM – Head to the Mall


Crown Books


-Russian/English Dictionary (finally figure out what General Neutronov is saying)




-Pre-order Eat Lead

(or get it online at





(can’t walk around on the street anymore without being recognized)


10 AM – Drive over to Gart Sports


-Old Spice

(That Neil Patrick Harris commercial gets me every time)


-Shoulder pads



(to cut shoulder pads, because one gives you the protection and mobility that you need and ninja rolls are so much easier with a little padding)



(Because it’s never unlimited, unless you are a cowardly cheater)


Noon – Pantry Pride

-Block of beef

(all the action from the butcher shop makes me want to BBQ)


3PM – Watch Football and play Gutpunch with Master Chef and Captain Carpenter


Too bad, I don’t have the heart to tell Matt that none of those stores exist anymore. But, everyone knows not to mess with Matt. I guess that is my fault as I blew away all that cash for chauffeurs and personal assistants for Matt all those years. But boy did we have fun!


Matt Hazard Rocks The Vote – Hazard Style

November 4, 2008

I was checking out my page on Facebook today and was so happy to see how much support their is in today’s election. I remember past campaigns where Matt Hazard had such a major role in the outcomes of the election. Check out some of the elections of years past and how Matt played a role in them.

Our Joe The Plumber

Our Joe The Plumber


Matt Hazard’s impact on previous elections:



At the height of Matt Hazard’s popularity, both Bush and Dukakis were looking for new ways to tap into the gamer audience.  8-bit graphics was all the rage, and The 1987 Western videogame “Fistful of Hazard” featured pixilated ads by the Republican Party. Unfortunately nobody wanted to see ads of Bush in the background yelling “No new taxes”.  Marathon Software luckily eliminated most copies before it shipped to stores.


However, the popularity of Matt’s tank-game, “Boom Tanks”  inspired Dukakis to take that ill fated photo op ride in the tank that cost him the election.



While Bush hoped to sail by promoting Family Values and vilifying Matt Hazard and other violent video games, Clinton took a shrewder approach by playing the theme song to Matt Hazard Land Two: Haz World on his saxophone live on the short lived Gamers Basement Tonight TV show.



Sales from Matt Hazard 3-D were so insanely high, selling millions of units a month since 1994, it was singled handedly credited for keeping the 90s economy afloat and Clinton profited from the recent years of prosperity in his defeat of Bob Dole.



Matt Hazard’s time traveling game from 1997 “Bridge to the 21st” Century was inadvertently used as a slogan for both the Bush and Gore campaigns. However, more ominous was his Alligator wrestling simulator “What a Croc” which was released on election day and featured a Florida swamp setting where Matt took on various enemies in the Gator Gang. The game was later hacked to include Bush and Gore mods into the fighting ring.



While Matt’s career as a videogame superstar was well into its decline by the time Kerry and Bush made it to the polls, some Republicans did include a SwiftShooter ad campaign featuring a stolen Matt Hazard character model talking about Kerry’s inability to pull off a good head shot in a multiplayer match.

Happy Halloween – The Matt Hazard Comic Strip FOUND!!!

October 31, 2008

Long Lost “BOOM COUNTY” Strip Unveiled !!!

Well, as promised, I did some more digging into that box of stuff in the basement.  And I found GOLD — one of the original Sunday editions of Boom County, a sponsored comic strip based on Matt Hazard!

Boom County was a marketing initiative from the early 80s — I hired a comic strip artist to create a hilarious series based on Matt Hazard and then placed the strip into daily newspapers across the country. Boom County was a smash hit and ran for a marvelous three months before it was discontinued by editors who felt it was “marketing” and not a real comic strip.  I wrote the script myself, and, I must say, it’s STILL HILARIOUS!  Note the timely jab at the “Where’s the Beef?” commercials!!!  HAHAHAHA!!!

To clarify, the Dinosaur friend in Boom County is a character I created for the strip — when Hazard travels to the time travel zone of Xenon 5 in The Adventures of Matt in Hazardland, he saves this Dinosaur, “Opie,” from annihilation during his epic battle against Neutronov’s Mega-Nuclear Robo TyranoToxic-a-Saurus. Opie comes back to our world timeline to live with Matt in Boom County.  Genius!!

A Rare Copy of a Sunday Edition of "Boom County"

A Rare Copy of a Sunday Edition of "Boom County"

We had planned a spin-off Saturday morning cartoon series, a video game for kids based on the strip, and plushie dolls based on Opie, but the newspaper cancellations halted all work on those projects.

– R. Tokey

IGN Blog Introduces Eat Lead Dev Team

October 30, 2008

Vicious Cycle-ers Promote Themselves Shamelessly

The “official” IGN Blog for the Eat Lead game has been updated introducing a couple people from the development team at Vicious Cycle.

Go here to check it out:

It should be noted that there are more people in this article than were on the ENTIRE original Matt Hazard development team.  Do I remember their names?  No, of course not, because they faded back into the darkened recesses of nerd obscurity where hired programmers belong.

Where’s my profile, Mr. IGN Blog?

– R. Tokey